Friday, October 21, 2011



[discussing their daughter
Eduardo Acuña: Maria is going to wait until the right man comes along. 
Mrs. Delfina Acuña: Why should she? I didn't. 

—You were never lovelier, 1942, William A. Seiter

LET ME TELL YA, once upon a time, I got invited to a party called “Singles & Fabulous” in Miami Beach.

To a great extend, the word “Single” is still considered one of the most frightened words, especially for some women and in some parts of the world, albeit cities like New York, London, Sao Paulo—single women are not advisable to go unless you are extremely gorgeous—, Miami Beach—totally advisable since men think that all women are models—Berlin, and probably Tel Aviv harbored the most beautiful single women on Earth.

Another story lies on the vocable “Fabulous,” which remains indefinable in terms of being absolutely subjective. And it reminded me an e-mail I got in my mailbox several years ago that apparently had been traveling around some forums.

The e-mail was about a lady who introduced herself as a young—I think she was in her early twenties—single, pretty, and most important, looking for a man with $500 K annual salary (or above, of course) to get married with. In her e-mail, the hunting woman complained that she had only dated $250 annual salary preys, and that surprisingly she had met some women not so attractive as her married with men that come with a $1M annual trophy. As she considered herself as a fabulous and non-greedy woman—“a $1 M annual salary is considered middle class in New York”, she remarked. She ended up by asking for a top list of bars, restaurants, and gyms where she would be able to meet those wealthy bachelors.

A Wall Street investor guy replied her promptly with this opening: “Dear Ms. Pretty,” and explained her how, even being a hypothetical prey, he estimated her offer a bad investment for the following reason: The equilibrium of the old concept of exchanging goods, here between money and beauty, would fail over time. From the viewpoint of economics, he considered himself as an appreciation asset since his money might increase from year to year, and considered her as a depreciation asset (with an exponential depreciation) since her beauty would fade. Then, he encouraged her to make $1 M annual salary on her own. Yet if she happened to be interested in “leasing services,” she definitely must contact him.

First off, let me point out that Ms. Pretty was honest—think that the odds a married woman will report she got married for money are 1 in 100 1—. Plus, this lady was certainly willing to invest some capital to get her prey. Not even want to think, my Valued Readers, how much money cost the wrapping paper of a sweet: Hairdresser’s, makeup, design clothes, creams, shoes, accessories, jewelery, inter alia, but I think her shot was not accurate at all: she truly was (a desperate) single, but seeing her begging statement, I frankly cast doubt on “fabulous.”

After all, it’s good to know that some wealthy people are not such fools. I can’t tell how many millionaire divorces we see everyday in the tabloids. Perhaps someone should have taught her some statistics lessons to meditate on. Or much better, show her that Pretty Woman is just a romantic movie. A good one, though.

On the other hand, it is true that if you have been traveling in third-class train car from home to work daily and window shopping on weekends, and one day the private jet is awaiting you for a Caribbean trip, and you are able to get dressed with an exclusive design and get seated in the front row of Chanel Haute Couture any week day, you might start loving wanting the trophy. There is so much hunger around2. Let’s be sincere, my Dear Readers, it’s very difficult to separate the “surroundings” from the being. It’s the whole package that counts.

So how do you find out if you are truly in love with the man/woman?

Let’s make a deal: to sign a written waiver where both parts relinquish the economic rights (and obligations, of course) as a wife/husband now and forever.

And Howie Mandel asks: Deal or No Deal?

Alas, my Gentle Friends, to free ourselves even from the needs of our own ego is not an easy task: much courage, self-esteem, and love are needed. The truth is, you must be really Fabulous to propose and to accept the Deal.

Are you single plus fabulous?

(1) Survey made in the US, 2008.
(2) Expression coined by my mentor.

Copyright@2011. THE PYTHAGOREAN STORYTELLER. All rights reserved.