MARRIAGE: A FRAUD AND A FAILURE? (II)
This is my friend Harry Allen.
He likes his wife.
It can happen.
—Married life, 2007, Ira Sachs.
A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, I was heading to the Library when I heard a woman saying to another, “I married Mark because of the circumstances.”
I stopped abruptly, saying to myself, What circumstances?
Truth to be told, I would have followed them since I was dying to keep listening to the conversation. But I am not a stalker, so I missed the answer. To be fair, I’m not here to be judgemental.1 However, I thought that I would not like to fall into that trap. Whatever it was. Call it solitude, call it money, call it emotional needs, you name it. Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal it.
Likewise, many times I have heard divorced people blaming their former wives/husbands for all their miseries. The woman or the man they used to “love2,” now he or she is nothing else but the enemy3.
Yes, my Dedicated Readers, human marriages are a total failure and a fraud. If we scratch a bit, we find two people who manipulate each other. Two self-centered people who hide their own benefits.
Personally, I’d bet for a spiritual marriage. A marriage where two people love and respect each other unconditionally, with the purpose of growing together. It exists only when it is not necessary for each person’s survival.
So what’s the foundation of a spiritual marriage?
The foundation of a spiritual marriage is FREEDOM. I don’t belong to anybody. I don’t possess anybody.
I’d like to reproduce the words of Joel Goldsmith4, whose speech I find luminous.
“An individual remains an individual, not only from birth to death but, in fact, long before birth to after death… We will never lose our individuality… Each one of us has individual talents and gifts that should not be waived in marriage. Therefore, in spiritual marriages there are not ties but freedom. We cannot say the same of the human marriage. It is true that in the spiritual marriage, both agree to let each other free at the time of getting married. That’s all I have found out in thirty years, freedom is what makes possible such things as happy, peaceful and successful marriages. The ability to let the other go free and live every man his own individual life, yet sharing with the other without demanding… Neither the husband nor the wife has rights; they both have the privilege of giving, but not the right to demand anything from each other.”
1 Who am I to judge other’s people life?
2 I put love in quotes because I don’t think it was love.
3 Unfortunately, I’ve never heard, ‘I loved that man/woman, and I will love him/her, even though we are apart.”
4 Joel Goldsmith was a spiritual healer, mystic and author of The Infinite Way.
Copyright © 2012 by THE PYTHAGOREAN STORYTELLER. All rights reserved.